If you’re prone to anxiety, depression or stress one of the simplest “chill pills” I  know is the art of conscious breathing.

Try this:
Inhale for a count of 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, and hold for 4  (repeat 7 times).

I’m not saying that speed itself is bad. I think fast like roller-coasters or driving fast for the thrill of it is glorious. But fast like hurry up and get something done is the part I’m looking at. If you need convincing (like me)–because hurrying is a hard habit to break–here are 3 reasons to slow down:

1) Fewer accidents and mistakes
When I slow down and pay attention to each moment I’m much less likely to spill something or drop something or send an email by mistake or say something I might regret.

2) Instills confidence, grace, ease a lot less stress (and frankly is a lot more polite)
I imagine myself walking gracefully down the street, head held high, taking in a deep breath and seeing beauty all around me. I like this picture a whole lot better than the one where my head is down, shoulders hunched as I scurry across the street to make the light and barely see the street in front of me, let alone notice the fresh air or the quality of the breeze against my skin. When I stop rushing, I open doors for people, wait patiently for people in the checkout line. I find I become a lot less stressed. Amazing how much I make myself crazy when I rush so much.

3) Makes everything more enjoyable
Have you ever done that exercise where you eat a single grape really really really s l o w l y? If you haven’t tried it, do it. It’s amazing how much goes on in one grape: the color, the smell, the temperatures, textures, flavors. This is what makes life yummy. I have to keep reminding myself because the more I hurry up, my whole life feels, dull, flat, lifeless, and tasteless.

Now that I’m convinced that slowing down is a big key for me I’ve got some ideas brewing for how to do this. If you’re curious, stay tuned.

The image above is a beautiful card created by JackandEllaPaper and available on Etsy.

As I look back, even though I’ve done some really big things it’s like “yeah…great, whatever…NEXT! gotta get back to the list.” I felt this about the non-profit I founded many years ago and even Glam Media–a company that I helped to create from scratch.

Why is this happening? My ah-ha moment happened while listening to Dr. Fred Luskin speak at Inflection 2 weeks ago. He talked about a generation of people in a hurry. Not taking the time to slow down, appreciate, feel grateful and nourished. Our nervous systems on hyper-alert and our actual bandwidth and capacity to deal with life’s problems grows smaller and smaller–with a lack of ability to see or deal with the big picture. In the 30minutes that he spoke it clicked. I’ve never slowed down enough or reflected upon all the blessings, all the accomplishments all the good stuff that has made my life remarkable. I never even considered that my life is incredible!

* Celebrate * is something I teach in my workshops as one of the critical C’s for change. Yet for some reason I haven’t done very much of it myself. Touché. We do this all the time as kids. And get ribbons and trophies and all kinds of stuff. Why not now? Here’s what I’m up to:

I’m making a list of things I want to acknowledge and celebrate. I might even grab some pictures to represent different stages of my life and obstacles I’ve overcome. Next week I’m going to have a little celebration with my Healing Touch practitioner and share this list. Why? Because there’s power in sharing our stories. It makes them more real, it gives them more meaning. and that’s it.

Does this strike a chord in you? Is there something you need to celebrate now rather than waiting for others to celebrate it when you’re gone?

Thank you Regina, for inviting me to Inflection.
Thank you, cubbyholequilting for creating this beautiful celebrate wool pattern pictured above.

Since I’m an active thinker (who still thinks a lot) here are five of the best ways I know to get out of my head and out of my own way, back into flow:

Zentherapy® Bodywork
My life changed when I experienced Zentherapy® bodywork. That’s why this particular type of work is the most important on my list. It’s also why I insist on offering it to women who participate in the Mind Body Boot Camp. It’s the most incredible way I know to release blocks and get into alignment (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually). When I receive Zentherapy® bodywork I become free like a child and super excited about my life. My clients get this too. There aren’t a whole lot of us (practitioners), but it’s well worth the search. I’ve even flown to different time zones just to receive sessions of this work and keep my body clear. Free your body and your mind will follow.
Go to the Zentherapy website and the contact page to ask about practitioners near you. If you’re in the California Bay Area you’re in luck–there are a handful of us here. Email me for more info.

Silent Time / Retreat
We live in a culture that is always on. Give yourself time to turn off (your computer, your cell phone, your t.v.). Unplug. Be still. Be quiet.
You may find this difficult in your day-to-day surroundings. If so, get away and go on a retreat. I went on an amazing retreat: Fusion Meditation with Gilles Marin at Stillheart Retreat Center this January. If it’s a retreat you seek and you’re not sure where to go or what to do, just set your intention to find something and be open and curious. A girlfriend of mine was going through a transition and not sure what steps to take next. She was standing in a coffee shop one day and saw a flyer for a photography workshop and got super excited. She knew it was just what she needed. She went and had an incredible experience. To find what you’re looking for, be open, be patient and see what comes. You can practice following your intuition by playing this game: a journey to nowhere.

Self Care
I make self-care my number one priority. It starts with a ritual and cleansing meditation when I wake up. It progresses throughout the day and evenings often include a detox bath whenever I feel depleted. If you don’t already have a daily practice, create one. Perhaps it’s breathing, yoga or stretching, dance, gardening, walking the dog, journaling or meditating. Choose a practice that you enjoy (for me it’s dancing and walks with my dog) and stick with it for a prolonged period of time to give yourself the full benefits of your practice. Your body always responds when you dedicate time to nurture and feed the well.

Structure & Support
I find that I spin my wheels when I don’t have a clear picture of what I’m doing and how to break it down into practical steps. I need just enough structure so that I feel supported but not over rigid about it. I’ve got some more ideas here about the freedom of structure and schedule.
Accountability is also key in supporting you and your dreams. If you have lots of great ideas but trouble following through hire a coach or get a good friend or co-worker to be an accountability buddy with you. Better yet~ use me as your coach, cheerleader, bodyworker and uber accountability partner (by doing Mind Body Boot Camp)

Art & Creativity
Julia Cameron was my first teacher for creativity and intuition. I learned so much from her book, The Artist’s Way. I still take Artist Dates and use my journal as a trusted companion. Art and creativity have become healers for me because I now see art as play. I used to think it was about coloring inside the lines or making something look good. Now I feel it is a chance to live out loud. It’s become an excuse for me to get messy and engage my senses. It’s about going somewhere without a map and no clear destination. Everyone is creative. What creative endeavors speak to you? Sometimes I dance, other times I arrange flowers in a vase, or rearrange my office, or put paint on my fingers and rub color on rough or bumpy surfaces. Life is edgy, raw, real. Are you living it?

I wanted to apply creativity to my work, so last week I took a class called the The Right Brain Business Plan, created by Jennifer Lee. I LOVED IT. Thank you, Tammi Spruill, for facilitating such a great class! What a joy to bring creativity to all aspects of my life. While I was away creating a playful depiction of how I want my business to become I got emails from two prospective clients. Sheer coincidence? I don’t think so..this is what heart is all about! I didn’t have to do anything.

Heart Painting is by colorsplashes

“If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don’t be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning ‘Good morning’ at total strangers.” ― Maya Angelou

I catch myself every now and again, being generous with strangers and stingy with myself. Or judging and criticizing the people I love most. When it comes to giving (love, time, money, thoughts) how can I be more generous at home and to the people who touch my life every day?
I’m finding countless ways…

Image of Smiling Sun is from greywolfgraphics

Is Your To-Do List Bad for You?

Last week I was away on retreat. It was a profound week of healing with lots of quiet and space to go inward. Now that I’m back, I’ve returned to my normal life as if I’m an outsider, observing my life for the first time. As I’m watching and noticing myself throughout the past few days I discovered something really interesting. I don’t have any to-do list. Me, the obsessive list-maker (for as long as I can remember) is list-less. It’s like being naked, and free. I almost feel repelled by the idea of making a list. Something inside me has shifted. I think it has to do with trust and a felt sense that everything will fall into place. I don’t have to force or push my way to make it all happen.

Do you feel:
overwhelmed by too much to do
like life is a chore
super stressed
out of time

If yes (to any and all of the above), it may be time for some serious self-care and support. A week-long retreat was the greatest gift I’ve given to myself in quite some time. As you begin to take care of yourself, you might also try going list-free for a week or two. Here’s what has been happening for me:

1) Creativity
List = chore. When I don’t have a list, I am free to be creative and spontaneous with my day. I don’t feel like there are a dozen obligations hanging around like a noose around my neck.

2) Spontaneous Productivity that is FUN
One of the things I’ve noticed is that I’m in the flow. I feel inspired to do something – like rearrange my closet – and I do it, with enthusiasm and total satisfaction. In fact, I decided I wanted to clean my closet at 7pm and it was done well before bedtime last night. I felt so much lighter and at ease as I got dressed today, thanks to the space and ease in my closet.

3) Slowing Down & Being Present
Having been silent for several days, I’ve noticed how much chatter and busyness I’ve created in my life. When I slow down and tune in, I’m more present and aware of what’s happening (both inside me and in the world around me). Colors are more vibrant. My breath is more full and I feel more alive.

4) More Time
A list gives the illusion that there are many things to do and a limited amount of time to do them in. No list allows you to lessen your grip on time and the notion that there is never enough of it.

5) Intuition
There’s space to hear and follow my intuition. I went to the store yesterday looking for a jar I could use to pickle lemons in. I’ve never pickled lemons and I wasn’t sure what type of jar would be best to purchase. All of a sudden I felt like I should just ask someone. In fact, a pleasant-looking woman who reminded me of a wise mother passed by and I just said: “excuse me, do you know anything about pickling things and jars that I could use to do this?” sure enough the woman not only knew about pickling, but she was delighted to talk to me because she too had an abundant lemon tree in her yard! Because I wasn’t rushing through the store yesterday crossing off items on my list I was able to tune into that voice in my head that said “ask her! she might know!”

6) New Opportunities & Connections
If I’m not rushing through the store, I am open to people around me. I see and connect with the person at the register or folks in the checkout line. I can hold the door for someone or take pleasure when someone holds the door for me. It feels fun to move from my heart and not my head–and others feel it too. It’s surprising how many random and enjoyable conversations I’ve been having with people around me.

Are you an obsessive list-maker? Have you ever tried letting go of the list for a while? If yes, what happened?

To Do List Image necklace from mcclouddesigns

The first prompt for reflection is called One Word, and the task is to 1) encapsulate this past year with one word. Then as you look ahead, 2) what is the One Word you intend for 2012? Grab your journal or piece of paper. Here’s what came up for me:

1) I’m relieved the year is almost over! 2011 unveiled EMOTION for me. I kept hitting walls this year as my old patterns and ways of doing things no longer worked for me. In the past, if there was something to be done I would set my mind to it and just do it. After all, life is simple when you view it as a practical and rational series of tasks and time. But thanks to unexpected challenges this year, I’ve discovered that life is not comprised of tasks and time and judgement and action. Life has depth, just like the ocean; and it’s moved by tides of emotion–pushed and pulled by unseen forces, like the planets and the moon. There is no reasoning with emotion or telling “it” it’s stupid, irrelevant or unproductive (even though that was my initial reaction). Emotions just are. Yes, of course, I can shove them down beneath the surface of my skin where they turn into knots and painful stomach aches. Or perhaps I can let them be. The more I do this, it’s as if my black and white television set now comes with blasts of color.

2) Rather than trying to straight arm the waves (of emotion), I choose for myself a new way of relating to the world and myself. Encapsulated in just one word–NURTURE is my intention for 2012. I’m excited just thinking about what nurture means to me.

When I nurture
I am a vessel, containing all that is.
the light, the dark
the smooth, the jagged,
I am straight and narrow, curvaceous and winding

I am teeming with life
I am deep rich soil, water and warm sunshine

To nurture is…

…tending to my sensitivity. if I’m cold, get a jacket–rather than telling myself to suck it up.
…to widen my gaze rather than seeing life through a narrow lens of right and wrong.
…to loosen my grip on perfectionism.
…like whispering “whoa, easy now” and giving soothing pats to a spooked horse.
…to create space and openness.
…to let the artist in me break free.
…to ask more questions.
…to listen when my heart speaks.
…to love.

As you sit back and reflect now, what do you see from the year past and what do you choose for the year ahead?

Image by tinyfroglet

Here’s a picture of me and my fellow Badass Bodyworker Sean English teaching the power of posture to folks at Glam Media.

What matters most to me right now?
sharing love, feeling joy, being at peace, connecting with family and friends

What matters least?
tackling everything on my to do list, finding the perfect gifts, fitting it all in and getting it all done, being a perfect host for holiday visitors, planning a great party or event

What do I love and what do I enjoy doing related to holiday?
scents, colors, textures, spending time with family and friends, being crafty with pine cones, juniper branches and bright red berries, a cozy cup of tea, staring off into a warm blazing fire, making hand-made gifts to give to family and friends.

What do I least enjoy?
shopping, cooking, cleaning, traffic, crowds, overspending, overeating

What could make this time of year more [insert your words here--for me it's playful, peaceful, energizing, yin, receptive, quiet]?
doing less of the things I least enjoy (above)
candlelit dinner
a warm soak at the end of the day
a walk through neighborhoods to see Christmas lights.

What’s one thing I can do today to bring more peace, calm, and joy into my life?
writing down this list
taking a deep breath
looking at my Holiday to do list and focusing most on the things I enjoy
cultivating awareness and remembering to slow down
breathing again
smiling and sharing this peace with anyone I meet

Here are some other helpful posts you might enjoy:
Laugh! a Beautiful Holiday Tip from HandPrintsOnMyHeart
Money: A Thoughtful Holiday Tip from HandprintsOnMyHeart
How to Enjoy the Holidays by Mike Robbins

May peace be with you, Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!

1) Take a cold shower

I fell in love with this ritual after spending time in Japan. Japan has a bathing culture, where many of the towns had bath houses and soaking places where people could enjoy the mineral rich hot spring waters. One of the keys to the bathing ritual is the combination of hot and cold. After a good scrub down, they immerse their body into steaming warm waters to soak. Then they get out and pour cold water all over their skin. The process can be repeated many times. Every chance I get I fill the tub with warm water. I let my body melt into the water for a few minutes. Then I hop out and pour cold water all over myself. Especially down the back, around the middle back. If you have 2 bathrooms in the house, use the tub in one and then cold shower in another. It’s an awesome way to flush the system. If you’d like to know more, here are some links below about cold water therapy. From what I’ve read, adding cold showers to your daily regimen over time can increase blood flow, boost immune function, decrease inflammation, strengthens the nervous system, and makes you more tolerant to variations in temperature.
Cold Shower Cures from EarthClinic.com
Cold Water Therapy from Mark’s Daily Apple
4 Reasons Why You Need to Take Cold Showers from I Need Motivation.com

2) Relax
The fastest way I relax is to breathe. Soon I’ll write a post with a simple little breathing exercise. But for now, just take a deep breath. And then another. I’m doing this as I type…ahhhhh, feels good.
At least two or three times a week I soak in this soothing detox salt bath (rose petals optional). I tend to soak more often on the days that I feel tired or depleted.

3) Gargle with salt water (for a sore throat)
Didn’t Mom always tell you to do that? Mine did.

4) Eat well
For me, eating well is all about being inspired to nourish my body. I usually ask: what might be really easy for my body to digest? What could warm me up? I love soup!, especially healing chicken bone broths or different kinds of porridge. Maybe your system wants you to spice things up.  If it’s easy to digest and assimilate it takes less energy for digestion and more energy is available to boost your body’s immunity.

5) Sleep
Here’s how I get a good night’s sleep. This guided meditation from Meditation Oasis can also soothe you into a restful state.

6) Focus on feeling good
When I’m driving, I’ve got to keep my eyes on the road in order to get to my destination, right? If I want to stay healthy, vibrant and energized throughout the season then telling myself, “Ugh, it’s cold and flu season, I hate it how I always get sick”…) is like steering myself off a cliff. Why would I do that? It’s certainly not intentional. It’s habitual. To focus on feeling good I might consider: “What if my body is UBER resilient?” and “It’s amazing how good I feel right now” and I might even sprinkle in some gratitude, “Body, you’re doing a great job. Thank you! Keep up the good work!”

7) Folk Remedies
This is a really neat site: EarthClinic.com, with tons of holistic remedies. Apple Cider Vinegar is one example that’s high on their list for flu fighting power. I’ve started adding 2 tablespoons to a tall glass of water. The Frisky Lemon uses this simple ingredient to make apple cider pancakes. YUM!

We’d love to hear how you give your immune system a boost. Please share with your comments below.